Sir Guy's Bio:

Sir Guy (pronouns: he/him) is a Dominant Leatherman who has lived in authority-based relationships and is Head of Household of the House of the Black Panther. He has been publicly active in the lifestyle for 15 years, though privately active for decades. He is an Emeritus Board Member of The Eulenspiegel Society (TES), former Director of MAsT Metro New York, Founder of The Dark Lair: BDSM Support and Education for People of Color,  an Associate Member of the Dyke Uniform Corps and former Associate Member of ONYX NY/Northeast. He won the International Power Exchange 2013 title with his then partner.

 

He has presented for over 40 organizations, delivered the keynote address at Beyond Leather 2014, and the Our Traditions Live speech at Master/slave Conference 2015, Sir Guy was winner of the 2014 Beyond Leather Community Achievement Award and the 2005 TES Dominant Men/submissive women's Literary Contest, served as head judge of the Western Canada Power Exchange Contest 2015 and was nominated for the Pantheon of Leather Man of the Year award among others. He is the author of a uniform themed erotic collection featuring People of Color and contributing author to the anthology Our Lives, Our History: Consensual Master/slave Relationships from Ancient Times to the 21st Century.   He has also been a contributing author to Raven Kaldera's book, Mastering the Art of Mastery.  Interviews with Sir Guy also appear in Dr. Gloria Brame’s, A Different Loving Too.  He has also been a panelist regarding many lifestyle issues, particularly surrounding race and racism within the lifestyle.


A uniform enthusiast, he is also a former NYC police officer and NY State certified Emergency Medical Technician, and participated in rescue efforts at Ground Zero in NYC on 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans.

Presentation listings

BDSM Play based presentations

THE ART OF THE DEAL: How to Negotiate a BDSM Scene

It seems so simple. Two (or more) people look at each other and feel a certain connection that moves them to want to do a scene together. The air is electric and there is certain magnetism. The last thing you want to do is destroy the mood by entering a lengthy process that feels more like litigation than the makings of a hot time. How do you insure everyone’s safety, protect each other while laying the foundation for a great scene? Sir Guy shows how to cover the essentials in a way that is both thorough and fun and lays the groundwork for future good times.

 

H.O.T. – Hands Only Torture 

If one were to read any of the BDSM based novels or watch BDSM themed movies one would think that you’d have to have a fat bank account to consider playing in that world.  But you don’t!  Sir Guy is going to show you how there are plenty of things, from spanking to sensory stimulation, from the sensuous to the sadistic, that can be done with the hands alone that can bring about a mutually satisfying experience.  This class is hands on and encourages audience participation!

BDSM ER: It’s Not a Scene (Scene Safety)

Your fire play session was hotter than expected. Now someone got burned. What do you do? Your knife play was cutting edge and your bottom got the point. Now you’re in for some unexpected blood play. What do you do? Your breath play scene took your bottom’s breath away…literally. What can you do to breathe life into the scene? Sir Guy, a Ground Zero first responder, will review medical emergencies, show you what questions to ask before you play, what to do when things go wrong, and how to deal with first responders. In addition, he will give tips on creating a first aid kit.

SUDDEN IMPACT: Impact Play and Weapons of Ass Destruction

The crack of the whip... The thud of a flogger.... A hand across the face... There are various types of implements to impact your play. Sir Guy explores a variety of methods of impact play, explaining cause and effect, anatomy and physiology and the personal connection necessary to create a scene that leaves a lasting impact.

I ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE: Military and Police Style Interrogations*

With recent news events, the gathering of information via interrogation utilized by the military has gotten a lot of attention lately.  Most of us grew up on police shows and their interrogation methods. Being who we are we can see the kink potential in everything, thus, here is a class that uses the government’s own manuals from the 1960s to Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo and police procedures to show sound methodologies of extracting information, or of just having good clean, dirty fun.  Sir Guy will describe and demonstrate some of these methods and discuss the psychology and the aftermath of interrogation.

 

FLOGGING THE MIND: The Art and Science of the Mind Fuck*

Playing with knives and floggers and other devices can be enjoyable, but after the bruises are healed, the effects of the session can also fade.  But when you have stimulated and played with the mind, the effects can last long after the session is over… even forever!  Sir Guy explores the edgier aspects of playing with the mind; the things that make it hot and the things that make it dangerous!

Relationship based presentations


DISCOVERING DOMINANCE: A Guide to the Dominant Beginner

Many and varied are the guides and resources for those who are new to the submissive lifestyle, but those who are new to the Dominant side appear to have limited avenues to explore. Are the expectations for the Dominant in relationships higher?  Should they be?  What types of skills are essential?  Are they physical skills, like flogging, using the single tail whip, or rope bondage?  Is there something deeper, more complicated than that?  Sir Guy will discuss the physical, spiritual and psychological dimensions of Dominance as well as sharing his personal journey, mistakes and all.  Topics include the attributes of leadership, command presence and other poignant aspects using military, religious and business sources and models to explore and develop Dominance for the beginner.

Daddy/girl non-age play relationships

Sir Guy discusses the hierarchical D/s relationship as couched in the Daddy/girl dynamic.  He explores if there is a difference between “traditional” D/s and Daddy/girl.  He also discusses how to deal with the child within and how their dynamic differs from those that contain age play.  He also explains the various steps and missteps he has experienced on his journey.

ARE YOU MY DADDY?  Discovering the Daddy Dominant

There has been much discussion about the "Daddy Dominant". Some say it is trend or fad. Others say it is a softer form of dominance. What is the truth? How does one know just what a Daddy is? Is Daddy “less than” Master or “better than” a Top? Are the attributes different than that of the average Dominant? Does it have to involve age play? Incest play? What is a "little"? Sir Guy discusses the Daddy Dominant and helps us understand just what it can mean to an individual and to a relationship.

The Attributes of Leadership

One of the keys to be a good Dominant or Master is to be a good leader.  Yet, as difficult as it may be to acquire and express the attributes of leadership, doing so is no guarantee that one can become a Dominant or Master.  Indeed, there are many slaves and submissives who possess leadership attributes.  So, how so we translate the qualities that make one a good leader into becoming a Dominant?  What are these attributes and how can we utilize them in a power exchange relationship?  Sir Guy discusses the attributes of leadership and the challenges of making them guide one along the way.

Identifying and Overcoming Mistakes in Building Authority-Based Dynamics 

Quite often, discussions of authority-based relationships are full of all the positive things that have been done to perfect the power exchange dynamics.  People who have been in M/s or D/s relationships for years share their expertise and give pointers on what you should do to make your M/s dynamic work.  That is all good, but few will speak about their own mistakes at length, reveal what problems they’ve had and illustrate what obstacles they’ve overcome to make it thus far.  This discussion aims to be different.  Sir Guy and his slave, Harley, will share their continuing journey along the path in their M/s relationship and share how they deal with issues day-to-day in their M/s relationship.

Taking Responsibility for Our Own Choices

It's so easy to get into a situation that looks so promising and before you know it, it goes bad. Were their signs? Were we looking at it through rose colored glasses? Did we not think it out loud? Were we at fault?

In this presentation, Sir Guy will address several situations where it just might be you that "Fucked Up" and how it becomes so easy to put blame on others.  He will also show how taking responsibility doesn't always involve something negative.

Managing an M/s (or D/s) Relationship When You Don’t Like to Manage

There are many times when people who are good leaders find out that they may not be good managers.  Can someone with good leadership skills but not so great management skills utilize those skills to structure a successful M/s relationship?  What is the difference?  What skills are needed and how do you develop them?  How can you adjust to address the needs of a slave who thrives under more management than you are used to?  Sir Guy shares his journey and discusses a topic that is not often discussed.

Get Ready for This: Preparing Yourself to Get the M/s Relationship That You Desire

Many times, when M/s relationships are discussed there is much attention given to how to maintain an existing relationship but not as much is discussed about what happens before one enters an M/s relationship.  What can we do to prepare ourselves, not just for any M/s relationship, but for the type of M/s relationship that we want?  How do we ensure that our expectations are realistic and reasonable?  What do we have to know before we even start the process in order to be successful?  What if you’re not new at this?  Is the process different?  Sir Guy leads this discussion.

The Contract and the Collar: What Does it All Mean?

If one were to read BDSM related fiction, one would often see references to a "contract" and a "collar".  If one were to look up many BDSM related websites, you will find mention of contracts, with some even offering templates of such contracts... or a fee.  One may hear of "collaring ceremonies" which can be extravagant affairs or which can be intimate events.  But, what is the meaning of this? What is a M/s or D/s "contract?  Is it binding?  What is it's purpose?  What is the "collar"?  Is it a standard symbol in these relationships? What does it mean? Sir Guy leads a discussion and tries to help separate fact from fiction.

Protocols and Rituals: Are they Necessary to Authority-Based Relationships?

Often, in the context of various authority-based relationships, we may hear terms like "protocols" and "rituals".  What are they and what purpose do they serve?  What is the difference between the two?  Are they necessary to have a successful authority-based relationship?  Sir Guy will hep lead a discussion of these questions.

Mental Illness – Is it a Deal Breaker?

When we enter authority-based relationships, there are several factors we must consider for it to be successful.  It is a relationship based upon trust and respect.  It is based upon honesty and integrity.  It is a relationship based on openness and honesty.  This must be true in order to endure the challenges inherent in pursuing a relationship outside of the social norms that has a potential for abuse.  According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year, 1 in 25 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year. Because we are dealing with a power dynamic, the emotional well-being and mental health of the participants can be a factor in determining if should pursue such a joining and with whom.  That said, the issue of mental illness has been raised and the question has been asked, “Is mental illness a deal breaker for M/s or D/s relationships?” Sir Guy discusses this very real issue honestly.

 

People of Color and BDSM, Authority-based Relationships, and  History

BLACK LEATHER: A History of People of Color in Leather and BDSM

 When we hear of the histories of BDSM and Leather, the conversations often go to the early white gay male community or some European houses, but the fact of the matter is, just like American history, People of Color have had a long and storied history in the BDSM and Leather communities, not just as participants but as leaders.  This history is rich and needs to be explored.  Sir Guy will be your tour guide as we take the first steps into exploring various aspects of the histories of People of Color in Leather and BDSM.

Master/slave Relationships and People of Color

Before we are Masters or slaves, we are people with our own experiences and beliefs, which may affect how we respond to things, how we view others, and how others view us. American society has issues with race and minority cultures that are often not discussed until there is a major problem. This avoidance can have a polarizing effect, not just in the world at large but within the BDSM and M/s communities as well. How do we deal with social conditioning around race and color? How do we deal with the terms "Master" and "slave" or the concept of consensual "ownership" of a person? Are there different perceptions of M/s in interracial or multicultural households? Sir Guy will lead a discussion of these and related questions.

M/s, D/s and Multiracial. Multicultural, Multi-religious (etc.) Relationships

Trying to navigate the mine field of developing a relationship is never easy. You must deal with personalities, interests, goals and other markers for compatibility. When we add to the mix authority-based relationships and all that entails, it can get even more complicated. Now, when we additionally factor in the polarizing climate of today’s world, the idea of trying to climb all those hurdles and deal with racial, ethnic and cultural differences can truly make the task a daunting one. Yet, there are many who do it and have done so successfully. How do we tackle this? What do we look for? How can we navigate the issues that are bound to occur? Let's have an open discussion on this subject.

Race, Gender and BDSM

Though we’d like to think the world of Leather, Kink and BDSM is a world unto itself, free of the issues that plague the rest of society, the fact of the matter is that race and gender pay just as much of a role in the BDSM community as it does with the community at large.   How do we address these issues?  How do we deal with stereotypes?  What can we do concerning matters of gender politics?  How can we forge unity while celebrating our differences?  Sir Guy leads a frank discussion on these matters.

 

Practical Theory, General Information and Personal Growth

 

SWINGING THE BIBLE BELT: Sex and D/s in the Bible

Incest, Genital mutilation, Polygamy, and, that’s just in Genesis!  Join Sir Guy as he explores what makes the “Good Book” so “good”.  In addition to polygamous relations, with wives and concubines, we’ll explore the erotic poetry of the Song of Solomon, the penalties for early withdrawal and the lasciviousness of some of God’s premier representatives.  It is “holy” interesting.

WHEN THE BAD BOYS COME FOR YOU: Dealing with Law Enforcement

You’re in the middle of an intense play session when you hear hard knocks on the door.  When you answer, you see your local law enforcement officer.  What do you do?  You are travelling to an event, and have all your accouterments in your checked baggage.  You even checked it out with the TSA.  Yet, you are being escorted now by airport police.  What do you do?  Sir Guy, a former NYC police officer, will guide you through the dilemma of dealing with law enforcement and other first responders.

 

BDSM, Age, Disability and Chronic Illness

Often the imagery associated with BDSM both in the mainstream and within the community is that of young virile muscle men, lithe agile young women and fit youthful people of all sorts of gender and sexual identities.  The fact of the matter is that many of us don’t even discover the community until we are 40 or older.  The fact is that many of us regardless of age do not fit those images due to chronic illness or disability.  Does that mean we cannot enjoy BDSM and kink?  No! and Sir Guy, who has been living with cancer and it's disabling effects for over a decade helps us all to explore these ideas about age, disability and chronic illness in the BDSM/Leather/Kink community.

WHO AM I? The Journey to Self

Master/slave, Dominant/submissive, Top/bottom, Sadist/masochist, Poly, Switch... These and many others are terms familiar to those in the BDSM scene. To many, these are basic, fundamental labels of our identity. Yet, the longer one is in the scene, the more one realizes that these labels can mean very different things to different people. During self-discovery with so many different interpretations of the same words, how do we come to identify ourselves and feel confident in those identities? How can one discover and define oneself? Sir Guy will discuss these questions using examples of his own continuing journey to self-identification.

Organizational Topics

Inclusivity: The Keys to leading organization 

In a society that has become increasingly polarized there is concerned that some of our organizations are not diverse as they could be.  Some feel that their membership does not reflect the wide variety of people in our communities.  Others feel disenfranchised.  Groups or organizations may see their core demographic seem not to reflect a variety of ages, cultures, races, gender identities, sexual identities or even personal abilities.  How do we rectify this without pandering or losing our core membership?  Sir Guy begins our discussion on how we can see more inclusive organizations.

Activism and the Non-Profit Organization 

Current affairs seem to have exposed a variety of social issues that directly impact upon all of us.  Some of these issues are directly related to sexuality and sexual expression which may directly impact our organizations.  Some of these issues may not affect our organizations directly, but can impact our membership.  Many of us have a history of activism, but how can we as leaders of organizations take an activist role in our communities without violating the restrictions that may be imposed upon us by our not for profit status?  Sir Guy will lead a discussion on the way we can be activists within the context of our organizational constraints.

Race, Racism and Your Organization 

Issues of race have become a lightning rod, not just in the US, but throughout the world,  with strong emotions flowing easily.  BDSM organizations are not immune from these issues.  In fact, these issues have become a topic for discussion and debate for a while now.  How do we navigate the waters of race relations and the issues surrounding them within our organizations and communities?  How do we have a dialogue that allows us to address these issues in our organizations without feeding the fire?  Can we deal with matters of race and racism in our communities and organizations in a way that is positive and productive?  Sir Guy explores this topic in a frank discussion of race, racism and your organization.

Unity in the Community 

We often hear the term "the community” , yet are we truly one, unified community or series of similar, yet varying communities, clans, cliques and crews struggling to remain under one umbrella?  Are we simply practicing the outmoded concept of “separate, but equal”, or are we not even equal?  Do we recognize and celebrate diversity?  Are we “inclusive”?  Do we understand the difference between “inclusivity” and “diversity”?  Is being “inclusive” a bad thing for people who consider themselves outside of society’s “norms”?  Does the word “inclusive” indicate that we’ve left some on the outside?  Do we all feel safe regardless of race, culture, sexual orientation, gender identity, kink or way of practicing power exchange?  Is there anything wrong with being exclusive? Sir Guy leads a discussion on these issues and explores what is needed to achieve Unity in the Community

 

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